Xponentially Yours
by MakoRain
Summary: Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? CloTi one shot. Completed.


A/N: I Love LOVE LOOOOVE Lana Del Rey and so when this idea was stuck in my head, I knew the perfect soundtrack to go with it. I won't give away the plot here so I'm just going to do my usual notes. Disclaimer: I do NOT own FFVII or any of its affiliates.

Songs: Young & Beautiful and Born to Die by Lana Del Rey

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><p>Summary: She was his sun, and now, she was gone. He couldn't let her go, not after time and time again everything they'd been through, survived through. It couldn't end like this. But maybe, that was the only way. To save her, he had to let her go.<p>

**Will you…still…love me…when…I'm no longer…young and beautiful?**

**Will…**

The skies opened up and poured down.

The rain added to the ethereal beauty of her. Falling all around, it shielded them in a world of their own. Gaia, when had he last seen her so alive? Her warm eyes smiled just for him, all he had to do was walk towards her and claim her as his own, his angel, his everything.

Just a few strides and they could finally be together…

**You…**

Every time he saw her, she dazzled him in some brilliant new way. In the noon day sun, Tifa shined like diamonds. At only 8 years old, she had him in her grasp before he even really knew what she meant. Cloud knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this couldn't be possible, would never last. But telling that to the already broken-spirited 9 year old boy would be like taking the sun away; he only shined whenever she was around.

And so he kept chasing after his mirage, chasing her around Nibelheim until the air burned in his lungs as they tumbled to the ground, rolling around in the grass and laughing until their faces hurt in the best way possible. Tifa never scolded him for getting her dresses full of grass stains, instead leaping right up again and beckoning Cloud to come after her.

He always did, even when she didn't want him to.

That morning was cold, the air heavy with mist and the grass so covered in dew that he slipped as he ran. He had seen her take off towards Mt. Nibel, her friends from town following her reluctantly. That's why she hadn't asked him to come with her. The exclusion hurt but Cloud needed to be there for her and so he followed her as quickly and quietly as possible. He found them easily enough at the base of the bridge leading to the ominous mountain. Johnny and the others were shaking their heads, saying something about her being crazy.

"I know it sounds crazy but it's true!" Tifa pleaded with the older boy, shaking him by the shoulders.

"Please, I need to say goodbye. I have to_ see_ her one last time."

The tears in her voice and shining unshed in her eyes made Johnny pause. Cloud was rooted to the spot. She was going to see her dead mother? The blond boy thought about the myths of deceased spirits ascending through the mountain pass but had never thought it to be true. Johnny said as much.

"Tifa, come on. That's just an old wives' tale. Come back to the house." The rest of the group agreed and turned back, beckoning her to follow them.

"No, I can't!" She fisted her hands in her eyes, trying to stop herself from crying. "You just don't get it, any of you. I have to see her."

With a shove, she pushed him back then turned and fled over the rickety bridge leading to the path up the mountain. The dark haired boy just watched her go. Cloud was furious.

"You're just going to let her go up there _alone_?" He pushed Johnny's chest and the boy stumbled back, surprised. "It's dangerous! She could get hurt!"

"Look, you saw her go on her own. No one could stop her."

Cloud scoffed. "I'm not going to stop her. I'm going to help her." He left without seeing the other boy shake his head and walk away. "Tifa, I'm coming!"

With his longer legs and faster pace, she wasn't that much further ahead when he finally spotted her.

"Tifa!"

"Cloud?" The brunette turned and looked at her neighborhood friend coming up the path with a watery smile.

He stopped where she stood and took a moment to catch his breath. "It's not safe up here."

She blushed and looked at her hands, ashamed. "I know. I just couldn't wait to see her. It's my last chance." Cloud simply nodded. "Let's go."

With a smile she took his hand and headed further up the mountain. The sun was trying to peak out behind the clouds but it was still cold with the wind this high up. Cloud was doing his best to not show how the chill affected him even though he was in only his t-shirt and jeans. Tifa's breath came out in puffs in the frosty air as she climbed higher and higher, her whole body shivering and shaking in the wind.

"Tifa, you're shaking. Maybe we should turn back." He yelled over the violent breeze up to her. He heard her muffled reply taken away from his ears by the gusts of wind picking up speed as she kept climbing.

Suddenly her foot slipped, her screams echoing with the current, and Cloud watched her fall. Everything happened so slow and yet too fast for him to do anything. Her hair was in a blustery halo framing her face, her eyes wide and so scared he wanted to jump off the cliff side and catch her but he couldn't, he was too small and afraid. He tried to follow her down the mountain, moving as fast as he could down the path they had traveled up but he heard her body hit the ground before he took his last step meeting flat earth.

She lay there so still, so fragile that he couldn't breathe. His legs buckled and he was kneeling at her side, his fingers searching her neck and wrist frantically for a pulse. Her chest wasn't moving, her eyes weren't opening, and he couldn't find a heartbeat.

She was broken, it was all his fault, and it broke his heart.

**Still…**

Everything was a haze of smoke and fire. It was as if time kept going without him and he was waking up for the first time in years, groggy and disoriented.

_Where am I?_

Once his vision cleared, he wished he hadn't seen what was going on around him. He was right in the middle of a town engulfed in flames, people dead on the ground all around him.

_Home_.

He tried to shield his eyes from the smoke and heat but something hard and plastic was in the way, a helmet. He tried to sort things out in his mind as Nibelheim burned to ashes, the mako reactor out of town in the mountains glowing like a demon's eye.

Cloud caught a glimpse of long dark hair and a straw cowgirl hat before the image faded from his view, out of sight in all of the smoke and ash.

_Tifa?_

If Tifa was here, that meant…

Cloud took off at a dead run, dodging burning debris and dying towns people as he raced after the mirage because it couldn't be real, Tifa couldn't be alive…he'd watched her die, felt no life in her body. But if it really was Tifa, he could save her this time. He knew he could.

The winding dirt path lead him right to the reactor's front door which was flung open. He went inside without thinking of what dangers could lay ahead, only that he had to see her, touch her, know Tifa was really and truly alive.

The clatter of boots on steel steps brought Cloud to a halt, lifting his helmet to see better up ahead just in time to find out who was responsible for the chaos he left below.

"Sephiroth! Give me back my father! My hometown!"

Her voice carried loudly as she berated the man before her and it was the sweetest sound in Cloud's ears. She was alive! Until in an instant, Sephiroth took the sword she was brandishing from her hands and threw her aside like yesterday's trash, not stopping on his ascent to yet another metal door. He disappeared inside as Cloud raced up to her, lifting her in his arms.

"Tifa."

Her head lolled against his arm, her eyes trying to flutter open. Thank Gaia she was still alive, he couldn't lose her again.

"You…you came." Her voice was wispy and weak, as if she could barely speak. He propped her against the wall, running his hands over her checking for any injuries.

"You kept your promise." Cloud brushed aside her long hair, holding her face between his gloved hands. Her words shouldn't have made sense but they triggered something deep within his mind, of secret words shared beneath a starry sky. "You'll save me whenever I need a hero. You'll come to my rescue."

"I'm here, Tifa." He held her close but she could barely keep her eyes open, her breathing raspy and shallow. Something was wrong, she couldn't get enough air. Had she broken a rib on impact? He felt along her side and she winced, shuddering in his arms.

"Tifa, please, stay with me." He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent beneath the soot and smoke. She still smelled of sunshine, grass, and clear skies. "Don't leave me again."

Her body shook with each breath. "Cloud, you'll always save me." Her lips held a soft smile even with her dying breath. "Save me."

"No!"

Not again, he couldn't do this again. He couldn't hold her dying in his arms, couldn't bear to watch her suffer over and over.

"TIFA!"

**Love Me…**

Years passed, dark, cold and alone. Cloud was forever in a haze, lost from one moment to the next. It only came into focus when she was in his life and he hadn't found her again. Not yet. But she had to be out there somewhere.

No longer able to search for her, he slipped into the abyss until this time she found him, lying in a gutter.

"Cloud? Cloud Strife?"

He couldn't believe that she was really here, standing before him with a group of people behind her.

"Let's get you fixed up."

She took him in, sheltered him and cared for him until he realized she didn't really remember him, didn't know the horrible things he had let happen, how he'd let her die time and time again. No one could forgive that much sin in one life.

But he didn't want to tell her, couldn't bear the thought of not having her in his life anymore. She was his home, his life, his everything and he was going to do anything he could to stay with her. That meant he was now a part of this new "echo-terrorist" group known as AVALANCHE that was trying to stop the tyranny of the local dictator Shinra whose mako reactors were destroying the world. It was a long stretch from what he was used to but anything was better than being without her.

AVALANCHE devised a plan to blow up a local mako reactor in Midgar which was located high above the residential areas of the town. Cloud helped the best he could with his SOLDIER training to help the team get in and out the best way possible but something went wrong. Tifa's friends were setting the bomb when an explosion rocked the entire building with them still inside.

"What the hell was that?" Cloud yelled and tried his best to hold on as the rock shifted beneath his feet.

"The bomb wasn't supposed to go off yet!" Tifa exclaimed, her hands trying to find leverage as the metal framework she was holding on to quaked violently.

"Tifa, be careful! The railing-"

The metal snapped beneath their fingers and suddenly they were falling, rock walls rushing past to a darkness that never seemed to end below. Tifa screamed and Cloud grabbed her hand, using his free hand to hold on to whatever leverage he could find to keep them from falling into that infinite void. He caught onto a rock ledge and held on for dear life for it was all he could do not to let her go. He had gotten stronger with age but his strength had limits as his arms were strained to the max. He couldn't let her go now, not again, he had to save her.

"Cloud." Tifa's voice was calm even as she was dangling one-handed over an endless abyss. He looked down into her eyes and realized why. "It's okay."

"No, Tifa, don't you dare let go." He tried with all of his might to pull her up to the ledge next to him but it only made his body shake more with the effort. His next attempt was to swing her to the side but that made his hold slip even more on the rocks as he felt her hand loosen.

"You always save me…" Her voice was so soft and her look so earnest that Cloud couldn't look away. "I love you, Cloud."

Before he knew it, she let go, her body falling into all that blackness below. His screams echoed through the cavern, her face at peace as she disappeared into the dark. He had to go after her, had to save her again or he couldn't go on. Even as he felt his hand relax, the ink dark void rose to meet him and swallowed him whole.

**When…**

The steps of his boots on the church's broken floorboards reverberated through the crumbling stone structure with a hollow comfort. Cloud couldn't remember what the church had looked like when it was pure and complete but he imagined it was glorious based on the runes he now took residence in. The flowers poking between the rotting pieces of wood as well as the sun streaming through the gaping holes in the roof gave the illusion that he was outside; maybe that was why he took refuge here.

Yet again a new enemy had entered the young hero's life and he was at a loss of what to do. These remnants threatened to bring back what he feared more than he'd like to admit: Sephiroth. Cloud destroyed the thing he hated most in his life but that still hadn't brought back what was most dear to him. The Nightmare still haunted his dreams, almost more than-

"Tifa?"

A rustling in the tall grasses caught his attention, bringing his focus to the broken brunette lying there. He quickly looked around the church, finally noticing the damage of broken pews and crumbling pillars.

Cloud was stunned motionless. The young woman's form was sprawled out among the white and yellow flowers. No, it couldn't be. He was imagining things. Quickly he rushed to her side, brushing the hair out of her face. Gaia, it was _her_.

"Tifa." He lifted her limp body, resting in his arms with a sigh.

"Tifa!"

She slowly stirred as if waking any kind of motion hurt. She held her hand to her head and he quickly looked her over. A cut here, scrape there, bruises all over. Someone hurt her and he was going to find out who and kill him.

"Who did this?"

She tried to sit up groggily but fell back into his arms, too weak to sit up. "He…he didn't say." Her eyes were fluttering shut again and he held her tightly to his chest.

"It's okay, Teef. I'm here." He rocked her gently in his arms, burying his face in her hair.

"You're safe."

"You're here." He could hear the smile in her voice; feel it pressed against his shoulder as he held her close. "You still…love me."

Cloud heard how hard it was for her to breathe, the rattling in her chest. Whoever did this to her did a lot of damage, more than he could see on the outside. She could barely move, as dainty as fine china as if any moment she could break.

"I can't lose you again, Tifa." His gloved hand brushed her cheek, taking in the touch and feel and sight of her for as long as possible because he knew she was slipping away. Cloud couldn't stop it, couldn't save her, it was inevitable.

"Shhh, Cloud." She placed a small hand to his cheek and he leaned into the touch, desperate to keep her there with him.

"You're still…my hero." She smiled and it broke his heart not being able to do anything to save her yet again.

"Stay with me." He whispered the plea, his whole body curling around her to keep her safe in the shelter of his arms.

"You'll save me…Cloud."

Her chest rose and fell one last time until she was gone, leaving him alone with only his aching soul. The emptiness was too much and he fell into the cavern of his pain, no longer caring if he was pulled free from it ever again.

**I am…**

The remnants trying to destroy the city and bring back his worst enemy was the only thing keeping Cloud's mind from going crazy. He couldn't get the image of Tifa in his arms out of his head. She kept coming back into his life only to die over and over again. He had to save her; she said he would only he had no idea how.

Suddenly she was there in the middle of the fray surrounding the monument. It was as if she was placed in the key moments of his life to make him go the distance, to make him save her and be the hero he used to be. The life stream must be giving him a chance to right the wrongs of her death or something along those lines. The why didn't matter as long as he could figure out how to save her.

The monsters surrounded the monument, chasing and biting people who got to close to the activity at the center of the circle. The giant Behemouth that was called cracking open the sky didn't help matters. He navigated Fenrir through the waves of panicking people as the masses ran away from the danger, which was good; he wouldn't have to worry about casualties and could just focus on the task at hand.

Tifa was like a whirlwind kicking out and punching at the four-legged monsters surrounding her. She was doing great holding her own but was completely oblivious to her surroundings as the metal structures of the city strained and broke under the giant dragon's reign of destruction. Cloud was riding to her rescue, slashing the beasts with his Ultima sword until he finally reached her in the middle of the fray.

"Tifa!"

She had been knocked down to the ground but turned around in an instant and smiled in anxious relief, seeing her hero come to her rescue because this was it, he was going to save her this time.

"Grab my hand!" Cloud yelled above the roars of the creatures all around and the crashing of metal as the building behind her finally gave way. No, he wasn't going to make it in time, couldn't get there fast enough.

"Tifa!"

She was still too far away, pinned to the ground by a snarling monster. Cloud whipped out a piece of his Ultima weapon and cut through the beast like a boomerang. Tifa reached out her hand, waiting for him to take hold even as the metal beams and debris fell all around her, crushing her to death.

"NO!"

He was still racing towards her when his bike was clipped by a piece of mangled beam and suddenly he was separated from the machine. The rough gravel of the street stabbed needles of pain through every part of his body and passed out with the crumbling remains of the city of Midgar falling all around.

**No Longer…**

The city below looked damaged but finally safe again. Cloud shielded his eyes from the rain to look out over the remains, glistening in the heavenly water. Blood ran down his body from his many various cuts to mix with the puddles and he watched as the water turn red.

He couldn't help looking out across the roof, over the town, wondering, hoping, searching for something that mattered more to him than this victory.

_She should be here. She should see me be the hero she always thought I was. _

But the rooftop was empty and the sun was trying to shine, signaling the end of the battle. He looked up to the sky, a sliver of hope remaining as he spread his arms wide, taking in the weakly beaming sunshine for his bruised and battered body.

In that sun she sparkled like diamonds, a vision only a few feet away from him. Cloud was stunned, allowing himself a smile as he looked at her.

"I did it." He took a few more steps towards her, not wanting this to be a mirage and have her suddenly disappear again from his life. "Tifa, I saved you."

Tifa moved towards him, her hair catching in the breeze. She was alive, breathing, smiling at him and he couldn't wait to wrap his arms around her but then, something stopped him.

The cocking of a gun sounded across the flat plain and Cloud turned towards the sound, away from Tifa. The remnants were trying to exist and not be drawn into the life stream but it didn't work that way. Even as their bodies were dematerializing, a shot rang out and Cloud turned to look at Tifa over his shoulder, her eyes wide and scared.

No, he wouldn't lose her again. Never again.

With no weapon to deflect the bullet and protect her, he did something he should have done a long time ago. He walked into the path of the shot, the shout of his name from her lips the last sweet sound of his life as the bullet struck home.

Cloud had finally, truly saved his Tifa.

**Young and Beautiful**

Death was not the end. Cloud had spent so much time watching the love of his life die over and over again that this fact disappointed him a little. Instead, death was being surrounded by flowers in a grassy field. Death was Aerith's church with no boundaries and blinding whiteness all around. It was giving Cloud a headache.

"Congrats, Spiky. You finally figured it out."

"Zack?" The tall dark haired SOLDIER looked the same as Cloud remembered him, only whole and not broken and bleeding as he had been in his last moments.

"You're here."

"I'm dead. And so are you." He walked up to the younger man and slapped him on the shoulder. "Go figure."

"Yeah, small Afterlife."

Zack chuckled. "You got a sense of humor. I like it."

Cloud smiled at his old mentor's approval. It was good to see Zack again, even under the circumstances.

"There's a rare sight." A light female voice spoke from farther in the fields. "Smiling suits you."

As she came into focus, Cloud realized with a start that it was Aerith even though he shouldn't have been surprised. He had watched her die, after all.

_Wait a minute…_

"Did you guys see Tifa when she was..." He didn't want to say the words; it still hurt to think about.

"Yes." Aerith answered as she came to stand by Zack, his body close to hers. "We helped her here while you were down there."

"You could say we gave her a nudge in the right direction." Zack said with a wink, giving Aerith a little squeeze. They were still an adorable couple even in death. It made Cloud happy for when he could see Tifa again, although he hoped it would be many years from now.

"What do you mean?"

Aerith rested against Zack as he took over the story with his usual dramatic and conspiracy-esque flair.

'She was lost and confused, never remembering exactly how she got here. All she did know was that you were there, that you saved her time and time again."

Cloud closed his eyes, fighting for control. He couldn't be with Tifa but she was alive and that was all that mattered.

"I love her."

Zack and Aerith looked at him with a glowing happiness as they were lightly wrapped in each other's arms.

"I had to do everything I could to save her."

"And save her you have." Zack confirmed, walking over to a clear spans of ground devoid of flowers and shrubbery. "See for yourself."

Through the window-esque space Cloud could see Tifa, still on the roof kneeling where Cloud's body once had been. He frowned, feeling his heart squeeze. He never could handle seeing her cry, he always felt responsible for her tears.

"Make her happy." He whispered more to himself but he knew his companions had heard him.

"The only thing that will make her happy is seeing you again, Cloud." Aerith answered softly.

"But I can't, she can't be here. Not yet, it's too soon."

"She'll live a long and healthy life." Zack said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "With you."

"But how-"

Zack shoved him hard, cutting off his question and sending Cloud hurtling through time and space and a wide expanse of sky until he came back to himself with a jolt. He was no longer in that blank expanse of grass and white, instead standing in a pool in Aerith's church. The flowers here were as real as they were there but the breeze making them dance said it all.

He was back.

Tifa was standing on the wooden floor of the church just outside the pool and drank her in with his eyes. Her hair was still wet from the rain and she still shined like diamonds in the sun. Cloud walked over to her pulled her into his arms, soaking her in the process but she didn't mind as she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"You're really here." He could hear the tears in her voice and smoothed his hand along her hair, comforting in the feel of her.

"I'm here."

Tifa pulled back to look over his face and he was pulled into the warm depths of her shining eyes.

"You saved me, Cloud. Time and time again." She smiled sweetly and he kissed her smiling lips, just a light touch but it made him feel more alive than ever before.

"You make me a hero, Teef."

_As it was meant to be._

Will you still love me when I'm no longer and beautiful?

I know you will.

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><p>AN: This story might read a little confusing to some people and I'm sorry for that but I didn't want to give away the theme, hoping that it was evident as you continued reading. I'm forever a romantic so I couldn't refuse when the idea to write a story about all the times Cloud saves Tifa and turn it into what would happen if he didn't save her. It's tragic but I always try to provide a happy ending.

I always love comments so please R&R, especially letting me know if this reading style was difficult or too hard to understand? Thanks :)


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